Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
