You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
