There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
