I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
