My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
