Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
