Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
