Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize