Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
