Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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