The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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