ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
