I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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