So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
