It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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