Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
