i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
