you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he was CRYING into my vagina
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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