I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
