I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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