Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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