We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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