i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
