Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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