you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
