fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
