Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
