He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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