dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
