did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
if only i could text you this smell
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
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