I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
