i think i have two assholes
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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