Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
How naked do you want me to be?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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