We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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