Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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