That's intense
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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