I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
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