New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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