i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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