dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
