That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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