Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
