Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
