i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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