I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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