Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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