I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
