I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
