You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
