my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize