Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
