New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
