And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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