i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
