I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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