Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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