you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I fill condoms, not promises.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
