hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
