just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
