i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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