Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
